The Puberty Talk...Here We GO

Since the Lord has blessed us with two girls, the puberty talk falls on me, their mother. My husband gladly threw up his hands and passed that ball to me the day they were born. As they are getting older I've found myself panicking over how to tell them they get the privilege of having Aunt Flo visit monthly. How do I approach this topic? When do I approach this topic? Should I tell both of them together or wait until Mae is a little older? These questions have seriously plagued me and all we are talking about is puberty.

So as a good teacher and lifelong student I did my homework. I talked to family and friends with older girls and asked how they introduced the Giant Red Monster! I found that most of my friends already had the puberty talk with their daughters with the youngest being six. Holy Cow did I feel behind in this area.

Did you know that many 10 year olds are having their period now? Opal will be 10 this month. After I found this out I called up family members on both sides to see when they started their cycles and the age range was varied. We need to have this chat and soon. I do feel a little assured that puberty won't approach as soon because Opal hasn't reached 100 pounds yet. She's not even 70 pounds and it seems the general consensus is that 100 pounds is the point when girls will start their cycles.

In light of how behind we are in this life lesson, we decided this summer we will introduce Opal to world she's about to enter for the majority of her adult life (unless she hits menopause early). The next problem we faced was when to tell Mae? I really waffled over this. If I tell Opal and then tell her she can't talk to her sister about this, she'll probably blab and Mae will find out anyway. So we agreed that we'll make a science lesson out of it with both girls.

But how do we approach this? Opal has a major issue with blood. She doesn't even like saying the word blood or veins for that matter. How do I tell her she's about to deal with blood month after month? My family and friends had some interesting suggestions, here's what they did:

Say nothing and let them figure it out on their own...

I found that many of the older generation family members said nothing at all to their daughters about body changes. They just let them learn on their own and let them think they are dying if they never heard through the grapevine about the menstrual cycle.  One family member said she thought she had cancer and was mortified when AF showed up.

Read a book and journal about it...

A few friends said they purchased growing up books and a journal for their daughters. The mom would read up on the chapter, write some questions in the journal and then the child would read and respond in the journal. The child could talk to the mom if she wanted, but the journal provided a talking route that didn't include an awkward face to face.

What book was suggested the most you ask? American Girl The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls. This book goes through everything from pimples and body odor to mood changes and the cycle. Plus, who doesn't love American Girl?

Read a growing up book together...

Other friends read the book together with their daughters and talked about what they read. I see this working in very open relationships between parent and child. One friend said she even sat on the toilet fully clothed, put underwear around her ankles and showed her daughters how to put on a pad. This is definitely a must for visual learners and a good way to teach them. She said they all were laughing at the end of the lesson.

Make a coming of age basket...

I know one family member that put together a coming of age gift basket for her daughter. She included all the things her daughter would need in the coming years like training bras, pads, chocolate, heating pad, etc. I'm assuming they chatted about why the child would need these things in the future.

So where do I go from here?

I got the American Girl book along with the second book for older girls. I think I'm going to read it to both Opal and Mae and I like the idea of the journal to write down questions. I think when the time comes I will do the fully clothed pad tutorial and I might do the coming of age basket as well. The only suggestion I'm steering clear of is the say nothing and let them figure it out route. That one seems traumatizing.

I'd seriously value other suggestions! Did you use another method that wasn't mentioned?

Sometimes parenting is so hard!